Turns out Tommy is still the greatest to ever do it. 

Officials interrupted regularly scheduled programming today to confirm that Tom Brady remains the greatest quarterback to ever do it, following an exhaustive investigation that involved looking at his résumé for roughly four seconds. “We counted the seven Super Bowl rings, then counted them again because some guy named ‘MahomesBurner420’ demanded a recount,” said the lead investigator. “Still seven. We regret any inconvenience this has caused people with podcasts.”

The announcement triggered widespread distress among rival fans, several of whom were spotted frantically typing “SYSTEM QUARTERBACK” before remembering Tampa Bay exists and the Super Bowl that Brady won there at age 43 was real. ESPN immediately assembled a twelve-person panel to debate whether seven championships are actually better than fewer championships, while Brady reportedly celebrated by eating a single unsalted almond and going to bed at 8:03 p.m. Authorities say the GOAT debate will remain closed until tomorrow morning, when a man recording a video in his truck is expected to reopen it.

This is a breaking story. Stayed tuned for more information.